How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
