You're so nebulous sometimes
I CAN MOONWALK!
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
