did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My ass is underappreciated
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
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