I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
