Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
