I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
