Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
