New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
how drunk are you?
Several
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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