Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
