Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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