Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
