i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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