Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
