Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
