I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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