I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
