i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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