I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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