I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
