what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
