I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
