ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
