I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
