How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
