You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
