absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
