the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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