the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
