we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
