your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
