I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
