Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
