I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
