i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Are my feet made of real feet?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
