how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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