How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
