**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
