I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
