That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize