I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
