I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
