Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
