Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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