I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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