She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
