you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
