problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
