Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
