I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she told me i tasted like america
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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