you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
