its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
